PETS
Wanted: Good home for a VERY loving, blind, old cat who purrs (and snores) like a train, vomits on the carpet and thinks the bathroom rug is her personal sand box.
EMPLOYMENT
Job Wanted: Mother of costly teenagers needs compensated employment
Qualification: none
Experience: unique (aka: I can make stuff up)
Skills: Creating enemies via e-mail, can drive a stick-shift, skillful with Pinesol, TABC certified, can work with hoes (? ... unless they are missing teeth), able to look interested when talking to people that have nothing interesting to say (to a point), the wisdom of age, short memory (unless you piss me off then I never forget), entertaining (as in train wreck), can sleep almost anywhere and anytime, blind, deaf and dumberer, occasionally cerebral, visual learner, verbally delayed (exception: lunchtime). And finally, I don't hear voices in my head anymore.
Restrictions: No telephones, small children, medium sized children, teenagers or men who act like little boys. No pointless meetings. Certainly, no smoking of tobacco or spitting. No shared space. No drama. A clean bathroom; actually, a personal bathroom would be really nice. No contact with the general public. No company parties. No blood or other bodily fluids. No dress code.
PS: Willing to travel if I get my own room and a spa allowance.
GARAGE SALES
...Never in Eekdom...but I'll partake in the right neighborhood. I prefer Estate Sales because it not only sounds better but you get to shift through people's junk in various rooms of the house! I love to make-up my own little scenarios about the people who lived there. It's kind of like a soap opera in my head; complete with sound track and, when needed, laughter from the audience. Now that's entertainment!
"Egad, where did she find those drapes?"
